It has been seen that some of the parents are so focused on becoming the perfect parent for the children that they tend to become a little authoritative with them in terms of not allowing the children enough space, to be frank with parents and to be completely them, which eventually becomes a cause of tension or fights between the parents and children. Similarly, some of the parents are under the pressure in terms of doing well at all the aspects of parenting despite being new at it, as they get to find out somewhat every day what are they doing wrong more than the right things. Moreover, another point of concern for the parents has to do with the constant comparison being done to compare the merits and demerits of the parenting styles. For instance, children also tend to compare the parents of other children with their situation; some of the kids expect parents to take them out every day to ride on the power wheel toy cars, while others have the different type of expectation. The main point is that kids want parents to be friendlier and the parents are expected to discipline them as well. This means that the combination of the two elements can help you to get better at the parenting.
Consequently, parents tend to shift to those aspects of the parenting which would make them favorable in the eyes of the children. But the drawback of this approach is that parents can become too lenient or addicted to getting the approval of the kids for the parenting. This means that if you are interested in being relevant, you may be compromising on the parenting or upbringing of your children. For instance, a parent goes out of the way to acquaint with the popular things on parenting and to change the label of parenting to the parent who is ‘cool one’. For example, there is a faction of parents who are more interested in finding out the modern strategies of parenting in form of helpful articles just to relieve the pressure they face on the daily basis to be a perfect parent.
Furthermore, if one delves into the consequences of the pressure on parents to be friendly and perfect at the parenting, it becomes clear the children are constantly influencing the way you parent them, which may prove to be detrimental for you and the future of the children. To put simply, the latest trends are shaping the way parents raise the children and it can be positive and negative both. This is to say that if you have adopted the positive traits, it may improve your parenting style, however, if you have not been able to put thought into something you read up on the internet and make it part of the parenting, you may end up making disastrous in the long term.
In other words, if you want to get good at parenting in the real sense, you are not expected to compete for being the ‘cool’ parent, as your actions or decisions would be driven by the trends or popular viewpoint, which may not be right for your context. This means that relying too much on the feedback of your kids or trends may not serve you well and it is good to stay relevant and discipline the children, but if these two traits are mixed in a balanced way, you are bound to get better at it. If you are still not convinced, you may want to consider your parenting if you look at the consequences of those parenting strategies, which allow the children to have junk food on the regular basis out of convenience and the insistence of the kids, as those kids tend to develop the tendency of obesity in them. The main purpose of citing this example is to prove that not all the latest tips or styles of parenting can be adopted without thinking or making changes for specific cases.
If you focus on the implementation of certain rules in the house, it may not earn you the title of the friendly parents right away, however, if you attempt to do this in a smart and understandable way to make your children own the rules or maybe give them room to contribute in making the pertinent rules, they will start to follow them as well. Similarly, showing the logic of your actions and setting god precedent can also help you to reinforce them.
Discussing the Differences
It is normal to have the difference with your children over things due to many factors; however, if you can sort them out in an open discussion it helps to clear the air in a good way. The main point is to understand the point of view each other so that you will not repeat the same problem, in addition, to encouraging the sense of sharing and togetherness with each other. For instance, if your children want you to allow them to go out with friends and they have exam or homework to complete, you can attempt to show them why is it important to complete the task at hand than the seemingly appealing option of having the nice time with friends.
Though it is important for the children to make friends and spend time with them, but when it comes to family, it is equally important for the children to build strong relationships at home to do well in the outside world. Similarly, it gives you the opportunity to share your time and lifestyle with your children and to reach out to them, which is significant in making you a friendly parent. For example, if you give children the time to learn about you and share your stories with them, they will be able to give the point of view, which may help you to get closer to them. In addition, it is good to be firm with the children when it is needed, however, if you don’t know when to be lenient or friendly with them, you may not get perfect at parenting.